PEAK-A-BOO! It's my ass. Sad thing is, it isn't the first time a drunkard tried exposing my goodies in public. I swear, I attract crazy.

FB status reads:

"PEAK-A-BOO! It's my ass.

Sad thing is, it isn't the first time a drunkard tried exposing my goodies in public. I swear, I attract crazy."

People asked... and here's the story:

Against my bodies wishes, I ended up going out

to ladies night at a run down dive bar famous for it's over priced drinks and smelly ass plumbing. With me, a random lil' crew of old soccer friends from childhood and a coworker who I'll just call Veronica. Veronica rarely goes out because she has a kid, but when she does, she sure does deliver when it comes to a good time. She and I always (and by always I mean, the past 2 times we went out together) have the greatest time together. Minimal Drama, Maximum fun is our unspoken mantra. She and I never go out without a purpose, always a method to the madness.

Last night, with the help of another loved coworker we call Dreamlover, we decided our mission would be to each pick out an unknown suspect, male, for the other, and the other would have to approach the suspect three times throughout the night and introduce ourselves as if we had never met them. We like to make an impression.... and three times sure is the charm. Veronica didn't hesitate when it came to introducing herself to the gangly, hip indie guy who stole Tom Sellecs mustache. An obvious misfit in a bar full of Tap Out Tanks and walk shorts.

This girl is no square. Case in point: I leave Veronica for 5 mins to hit up the mini-bar I had waiting for me in the trunk of Ramona (my car) and got back to see Veronica hammered. One word: Patron.

At the end of the night, when the lights came on, I was standing in front of her, with Veronica sitting in a booth behind me with a bunch of guys. Suddenly I felt the musky bar air tickle my bottom side, In a drunken stupor Veronica had lifted my skirt up over my waist to reveal my ass to just about everyone in the bar. It was horrific to say the least. I turned around to get a kung fu grip on her neck but couldn't muster up anything but laughter when I saw how hard she was laughing. All she could say in her defense was "at least your ass is nice and dark like its suppose to be." I didn't realize asses were suppose to be dark.... huh... ? News to me.

Unfortunately, it wasn't the first time. A couple years ago an ex-lover came home from college one christmas, saw me in the parking lot talking to a gangload of ppl after the bar had closed and he ran up behind me and lifted my dress up over my head. My classmate "Teacup Tities" and coworker "Moody Mona" was fortunate enough to be one of the bystanders. Both Teacup Tities and Moody Mona's boyfriends and about 15 of their friends were around for the mini-peep show. Finally when I fought my dress back down, the ex-lover jolted me up in the air and head butted me, and sprinted off into the darkness of the night, while I stood there completely baffled, embarrassed, and most importantly with a fat ass headache.

What does that say about a person when drunkards get the tendency to pull your dress up?